I Made a Mistake. 

I’m a fool. I really am. I am an angry enraged fool. He sent me an email at work listing possible mediatiors. I don’t care. He knows I don’t. Whoever. It doesn’t matter. Either way I lose.

That sent me in a profanity laced tirade of low blows and mean words.

I need to rise up and be the better person that I know I am.

But it’s so hard when I’m so upset. I go blind. I can only see red.

And then I stop. I miss the old us. The us before he chose this path. Because we were great. Best friends. Why can’t he remember any of that.

Why won’t I forget?

Today is a bad day in this journey.

I’ve been crying. I keep thinking who the hell will love me. I’m used up. My prime is over. I am a mom. I’m a loser. I lost my home. I have no possessions. I have nothing to bring to the table. Forever alone.

I miss having a family to come home to, to cook for. I miss my home. I miss my life I loved.

Today I think: Maybe I’m not going to come out of this ok. Maybe I’m going to be broken. Forever.

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2 thoughts on “I Made a Mistake. 

  1. I am so sorry about your divorce. I feel terrible that it had to come to this after such long years into a relationship, especially marriage. But no, you will not be broken. I heard time heals everything and I will choose to believe it. I will continue to heal with each day, and I hope you do too. Many hugs from my side.

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    1. Thank you 🙂 I tell myself every morning “Today is a fresh start, make the most of it” Somedays it works, most days in fact. But there will be those days that it doesn’t. There is always tomorrow…
      Hugs to you as well. I find my strength in the support, Thank you!

      Like

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