Letter’s I will never send (but already sort of did): Dear J,

Dear J,

I have 50 reasons why I am wrong for you. Please read below:

  1. I snore. Like really loud. Wake myself (and everyone else) up kind of loud.
  2. I get goofy on 3 beers. Obnoxious.
  3. I habitually apologize unnecessarily.
  4. I am disheveled and chaotic.
  5. I listen to Dave Matthews Band.
  6. I cry. A lot.
  7. I let people walk all over me, and hardly ever stand up for myself.
  8. I have a hard time saying “No”.
  9. I am very forgetful.
  10. I managed to get you mega sick, because I am a vortex of germs.
  11. My sarcasm doesn’t always mesh (especially since you are super literal).
  12. You think my “every other day” shower is gross.
  13. You’re the single guy with no ties, I’m the mom with a big family. Our lives are opposite.
  14. Sometimes I get really mad for no reason.
  15. I can be really lazy.
  16. I want to feel like I am number one.
  17. I am scared you will find a better girl.
  18. I am certain I will hurt you one day.
  19. I am certain you will hurt me.
  20. I want a partner to help me with my boy but I don’t know if you want that.
  21. I don’t smoke.
  22. My boy will ALWAYS come before you.
  23. I like dogs more than cats.
  24. I am terrified of gaining weight.
  25. I will always compare you to him.
  26. I will miss my old life.
  27. I want to be a wife.
  28. I don’t want my boy to be an only child.
  29. I am a crazy person sometimes.
  30. I like being spoiled every now and again.
  31. I can be a total girl about somethings.
  32. I am impulsive.
  33. I say what I am thinking too much.
  34. I don’t always think about what I am saying.
  35. I’m a giver. Rarely a taker. But when I need something it’s usually a big deal.
  36. I’m messy.
  37. I will do gross things. (pass gas, burp, sneeze gross boogers, have a #2)
  38. I am klutzy.
  39. I swear a lot.
  40. I overshare.
  41. I ask a million questions.
  42. My sense of humor can be dark and insensitive.
  43. I dwell on things.
  44. I can be very repetitive.
  45. I like sex. I like to have it. Too much.
  46. I don’t have a lot of money.
  47. I don’t focus well.
  48. I want a house. I hate apartments/town homes. I want a yard. I want my own space.
  49. I love My family and seeing my family. We are close and not many people can grasp that.
  50. I screw up good things. A lot.

I could keep going… but I’ll stop at 50.

So those are the 50 reasons I am not good for you.



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