Letters I Will Never Send: Dear Newly Married Heather,

Hey girl. You have a lot on your mind. You Graduated with you BA degree just a year ago and you still haven’t gotten a job. It’s hard out there but keep your head up. You will find your place soon. Just try to remember to be creative with your degree. You don’t have to be a teacher but you have to apply what you’ve learned to work somewhere you can be happy.

You just moved in with your new husband three months before the wedding. You are so excited and you are going full steam ahead trying to show him what a wonderful wife you will be.

Your wedding was a blast. People will talk about how much fun they had for years and despite the tragedy at the wedding your brother will be fine and he will manage his epilepsy.

You are so happy and so excited for the future with your husband and best friend. Soak it all in and enjoy it. You are young, excited and full of life.

But do me this one favor:

Never lose sight of your dreams. Never compromise on how you want to be treated. And fall in love with the little things that make you who you are. If I remember correctly at this point in your little life you feel like you need to be the person the everyone thinks you should be. But inside you is a tiny little light. It’s dim because you don’t want to let it grow, afraid that others will find what it shines as odd and strange. But girl, that is YOU. You are odd. You are strange. You are also beautiful and if you let that odd little light radiate from you I promise you will attract more beauty and inspire people around you.

And your husband can be sour sometimes and spoil your mood. Remember to stand up to him. Remember you are not his property but you are his partner. Remember that you do not have to commiserate with him. Just go on and be your happy self, he will see that he needs to keep up.

You see I am not writing from the future to warn you or deter you. I don’t want to change anything because I am writing to you from a wonderful place. You will see some real shit. You will go through things that if I told you, you would not believe me. But remember this:

You, Heather are a brave soul. You have a warrior mentality that, when you read this you will shrug off the thought. But you’re made of steel. You stand strong after taking hit after hit after hit and despite all of the trials you still get up ready for the next blow. At this point in your life you feel a little lost, a little disconnected from who you thought you would become but you’re happy that you have a plan and you have a bestfriend to get through it all with.

I am writing to you now because I want you to see that it will turn out great. But it will be the biggest battle you’ve seen. To become who you really are. It’s going to take years. And even then you will still have some fighting to do. But those battles, those can’t get out of bed days, those terrible dark days… they lead you to the happiest you will ever know.

Fight on and be strong. Lean on anyone you can because that’s what they are for. And always remember that failure is more than OK. It’s a new opportunity to learn from, stop being so hard on your pretty little self.

XOXO

Future Heather

(Happily chaotic and bursting with strange)

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