(Today I Cried Because)TICB: Mashed Potatoes.

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Seriously. Today I broke down and cried because of Mashed Potatoes. I was at Wegmans and I saw they had boxes of instant mashed potatoes on clearance for $0.76 per box. I picked up 4 boxes. And then out loud I said:

Where the hell will I even keep these. I don’t have a kitchen.

I cried. Standing in the isle, in front of a shopping cart with 4 boxes of mashed potatoes, a 12 pack of Blue lights and Chobani yogurt.

And just like that I pictured my beautiful kitchen, new white cupboards, stocked with canned goods, spices, mixes, boxes of pastas and full. I stocked those cupboards with my money, organized them with my time and put my heart into that pretty little kitchen. Now it’s someone else’s kitchen. I hope they love it like I did. I hope they appreciate the spot I had installed for the spices and the mini cupboard for my cutting boards. I hope they love how silently the drawers close and how they come all the way out. I hope they appreciate how easy they are to keep clean and I hope they never know that someone was forced to leave that kitchen, and she wishes she had it back. I hope they are better off than I am.

How stupid. I miss my fucking kitchen. It’s stupid. I’m stupid. Now I’m mad. Because I’m living with my parents. I don’t have independence anymore. I have to ask my MOM if she needs more instant mashed potatoes.

Divorce is an asshole sometimes. Divorce takes things from you that you didn’t know you would ever miss.

So today I cried because of Instant Mashed Potatoes in Wegmans.

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2 thoughts on “(Today I Cried Because)TICB: Mashed Potatoes.

  1. Oh, darlin’. Boy do I feel this pain. On one hand I feel so blessed and grateful that my parents have opened their home to me. But on the other hand I do miss that independence. Stocking the fridge the way I want. Not feeling underfoot. Privacy. I miss being social only on my terms.

    Ever since I left my ex, what I have missed most? My home. I never regretted leaving, once I managed to leave. I had been so unhappy for so long. But I loved my condo. Loved my office (even if it was used for storage more often than not), and the tree outside my window; the way it scattered sunlight on the grass. Loved my pantry.

    I painted walls and made it mine, in spite of my ex. The most he ever did was change a light switch. I take that back, he changed the light in the kitchen to something terrible, lost the pieces to the light fixture I liked that we picked out together, and finally after many weeks, put in a light.

    For me, it wasn’t potatoes, but I’ve been there. So many times. Don’t beat yourself up about feeling that way, ever. Losing your home is a loss too.

    Liked by 1 person

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