As I type this I’m still shaky. I JUST wrote the unsent letter to her.
I JUST relived a painful memory involving her.
And tonight, after work I went to Target to pick up some things and do what I do at Target. Shop. I was looking at a pretty blue tank top. I heard a baby crying and my mommy instincts were on point. Pinpointing the source instantly. A few feet away in a black stroller and I heard what I assumed to be the mother console the baby. I walked a little closer. I was eyeing the clearance swimsuits, right where the mother and baby were.
I hadn’t seen as I turned that they had shifted the location and I backed right up and into the black stroller.
I turned to apologize.
As my eyes met the mothers. We both silently agreed we knew who we were. Clair. In the flesh. Face to face. Those stupid fake eyebrows.
I froze. I picture my face being dumbfounded. Mouth open. Dead stare. I was paralyzed and stared silently too long. The silence was broken when she laughed.
Not the polite uncomfortable laughter. The condescending laughter that will chill your bones.
I was still frozen. She then called me pathetic. And pushed her stroller away.
And to think I wanted to thank her.
I grabbed my phone to call my mom. No answer.
J. He’s busy at work. I walked target in a fury. To the opposite end. I was ijn groceries when I got my senses back. I was crying and shaking. My heart was racing.
I grabbed some food for lunches and briskly walked to self checkout. Eyeing everyone to check for her.
I was so frazzled I left my phone at the check out.
That was embarrassing.