I die. 

Every time his dad drives away with him. I die. A little inside. When the car door shuts and I can still hear him screaming “Mommy!”. I die. 

My heart breaks 3 times a week and I fight like hell to smile. Even though the love of my life is not with me. Even though my chest is sore. I smile through the pain. Because I have to. 

I know I’m strong because I still push on. 

But today. I’m not strong. I’m staying in bed. I’m going to cry until I cannot anymore. I’m going to feel every bit of self pity. I’m going to wish things turned out differently. And I’m going to let hate win today. 

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