So, remember in June I posted a story “With This Ring”“. Well it took me months to figure out my plan. Get the courage to follow through with it. Then one afternoon I said “F the plan” and walked in the jewelry store. They gave me $2,000 to spend, the value of my engagement and wedding rings on trade.
So the woman that helped me, also a single divorced mother, was so sweet. She asked me what I like. I gave her the normal speech. I’m quirky, strange, goofy, I don’t like super flashy, unless it’s got a story. First thing she showed me was a $2,000 gorgeous, a yellow diamond surrounded by other diamonds. I loved it. But then I thought well that would be a great engagement ring. I’m here for my freedom ring. Not some replacement engagement ring.So I pushed on. Nothing called to me. Then she told me about the estate jewelry. I perked up. Pretty shiny rings that were no longer wanted. Metaphorically it was perfect. I was determined to give one of these a home. After trying on many in the case I just couldn’t find one I liked. Until I realized there were more behind me. And then I saw it. Shiny diamonds. It looked like 3 shooting stars. “STARS!” This little space cadet was dying for something nerdy. I tried it on and I knew this was my ring. After that I still had enough credit to buy diamond earnings, a diamond necklace and another ring.
So my grand f-you ring or as i refer to it in the ears of innocents, my liberation ring. On my left middle finger is a “rescue”. Someone didn’t want that pretty little thing, sort of how he tossed away me. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t deserving. And that doesn’t mean that me or that ring should sit around without somewhere to shine.
Now I realize it’s really three flowers but when it glistens it’s stars. And it doesn’t matter because it’s mine. I chose it. And its shiny and pretty and I have missed having something on my fingers.
I walked away that night without any second thoughts about one last glance at my old rings. But that night in bed I let a little cry. Because that was goodbye. Just another piece of that old life gone forever. It should feel so good. But it still stings a bit. Just a tiny bit. Because nothing trumps my overall achievement of kicking some ass. Getting through this shit. And rocking my new jewelry. Which may not seem to some as a big deal but for this girl it was HUGE.
Now onto purging the wedding dress and a few other things. Baby steps.