Friends.

Friends.

Lets just visit this topic real quick.

First: I am not a good friend. I am bad at calling and texting back. I like my alone time. I also have a kid. That makes on the fly socializing impossible. I am a scatter brain, I forget and I am flaky as fuck.

Second: I avoid confrontation. So if I sense there is a rumble of dissent, I do this thing I call “The dip”. I dip out. Radio silence.

I don’t have a best friend. Continue reading “Friends.”

I know I am going to be so much more than just “OK”

I know I am going to be so much more than just “OK”

Everything has been split and moved and dissected. Our money, our debt, our possessions, our child. Everything.

So the divide is there now. I won’t get invited to things. I won’t be included in events and milestones of mutual friends.

He was invited to a Christmas Party we always went to together. Not me. Just him. And a “her” not THE “her” but a “her”. I don’t know her. I don’t care to. And I don’t need to meet her. I would have to warn her that he is cheater, liar, borderline narcissistic, self absorbed and cares about nothing but how he looks and what he has. Maybe that’s what she likes? I saw a photo and I did what EVERY other woman would do.

I broke her down, critiqued her. Called her a “down grade”. But good for him. I hope she can break her back for him like he will want her too.

So here I am. Looking at photos of this stranger with my ex best friends, the man who knew me better than I knew myself at one point. It was like being in a room and watching someone else in my life through a glass window. Surreal. It hurts a little. But not as much as I thought it would.

That is because I have wonderful people. Friends who lift me up. Family who support me. And a “him” who makes me feel like I am a goddess. Continue reading “I know I am going to be so much more than just “OK””