Letters I will never send: Broken Rock Bottom Heather,

Letters I will never send: Broken Rock Bottom Heather,

Dear Broken Rock Bottom Heather,

It feels bad. The walls are closing in on you. The walls have closed in on and you crumbled around you. The rubble is burying you alive. You are suffocating. You think you are alone. You cannot trust anyone. Not even yourself.

All you can hear in your head is his voice. Telling you over and over how you failed your marriage. Continue reading “Letters I will never send: Broken Rock Bottom Heather,”

I Can’t Stop Looking Back. Wanting. Hoping. Praying.

I am so devastated.

I decided Friday I would make him dinner. I went to what was our home for 6 years and I made a quick meal. Simple. But filled with hope. I then showed up at his second job. I told him some hard to say things. I apologized for choosing to be angry with him. I apologized for my terrible words. I then told him I would not go to mediation. Mediation is for two people who agree they need to dissolve a marriage.

I don’t want to. I want my old bestfriend back. I want my life back. I want waking up, heading to breakfast as a family, packing up the jeep and going to the lake, I want those late nights watching tv together talking about our day. I want the hustle and bustle of our crazy little life. I want the partner he promised to be. I want the person I have known for 11 years.

I am going to fight until a judge tells me to give up. Continue reading “I Can’t Stop Looking Back. Wanting. Hoping. Praying.”