Home.

Home.

Cliches annoy me. They roll too easy off the tongue and involve little thought. But they exist because they are mostly true.

They say that:

Home is where the heart is.

It’s like a stupid sign I would hang in the living room as a decoration. I had certainly bought into that idea without putting thought into. Like, yes my address where I live is also where my family lives.  And until the divorce the idea of “Home” was simply a structure with walls and roof. A home was a thing you paint and fill. Something you pay for and something you can sell. Continue reading “Home.”

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The House. His House. Our House?

The House. His House. Our House?

I went to the house to help label things to keep and things to junk. The floors need a good cleaning and the walls need a fresh coat of paint but otherwise its a nice simple home.

There was a few times I felt so rigid, stiff and uncomfortable I wanted to crawl out of my body and run away. But I didn’t. Life is hard. Things are hard. Running solves nothing.

But this house isn’t about me. It’s his victory. And I will let him have it. He’s a homeowner and he has a place that is HIS. To do what he wants with it.That’s awesome. I had my turn years ago with that. (And now it’s gone.) Continue reading “The House. His House. Our House?”

Good. Great. Bad. Better.

Good. Great. Bad. Better.

Life has been busy. Consuming. Good. Great. Bad. Better. My new standard roller coaster. Wayyyyyy better than the “Flat Line” of Shitty. Shittier. Wish I was Dead. Ok I’m Alive. I came to know that way of life far too well.

Little guy is in a big boy bed as of this week. I have to take apart the crib tonight. While I cry. My baby is a boy. I miss my baby. Realizing how much he is growing reminds me that I always saw myself as having two. Continue reading “Good. Great. Bad. Better.”

The Cabin

The Cabin

The sun was beaming through the thick dirty wood blinds. I could see the dust floating in the heavy humid air. The trees around the cabin were still dripping fresh rain from the early morning shower.

I followed the heavy dusty sun rays to find they were licking his beautiful creamy skin. Continue reading “The Cabin”

My own two feet

My own two feet

First of all. Brandi Carlile is my mother effing spirit animal. He music hits me straight in the heart every time I hear her beautiful voice.

J is in school getting a certification right now. He wants a better job and he wants to find a place to work where he can be happy. On top of that he is in the process of buying a home for the first time after renting for as long as he has been on his own. He is in a band and they have been practicing and performing. And he has me. Poor guy has a full plate. Continue reading “My own two feet”